One A Day – Day 1
It’s not something I’m known for, or for that matter really any good at but it is something I enjoy. Writing.
I had a great time painting my Necrons as part of my last “One A Day” project, uploading a new image to Instagram before midnight each day was a wonderful feeling. I remember a few nights where things really came down to the wire, one specifically where I was furiously typing out my Insta post as the clock ticked over to 12:01am … I was buzzing!
Whilst that was a fun and easy challenge, the prospect of sitting down and writing an article every day for 30 days is daunting to say the least. What am I going to write about? Can I be consistent enough to actually complete this challenge? Will my brain fire up and say “no one cares what you think” and then simply give up?
I’m not sure, I don’t have any answers. Kind of like Gandalf at the beginning of The Fellowship of the Rings I suppose, the difference being I don’t have an order (let alone someone to be the ‘head’ of it) who is wise enough and powerful enough to tell me, “Yes Viv, everything will be fine. Now go forth and write, everyone will love it”.
I suppose the only real solution is to just, do it. If I want to complete this challenge I just need to write something and post it up. It doesn’t need to be lengthy, in depth or even relevant to Knights of Dice I suppose, this is a challenge to build consistency, we can tackle theme and reason later!
Over the years I have wanted to get ‘better’ at writing articles and ‘better'” is the term I’ve used, but what I think I really mean is ‘consistent’. I want my articles (and videos too, but we’ll tackle that later!) to be more consistent. One A Day for ever is pretty extreme, but this ‘One A Day’ project will help me break a terrible cycle.
I feel a terrible burden (a self imposed burden!), an intense pressure that everyone is watching me, an intense fear that I’ve forgotten something (which is a MASSIVE part of my ADHD, I have a SHOCKING memory so this fear is not entirely unfounded), a constant feeling that anyone and everyone expects something from me, and that what ever it is they need or want must be done NOW because if I don’t do it now, I’ll 100% forget about it in 20 minutes.
I know this is not rational and is part of my mental health challenges at the moment, but I also know it is part of the reason why I function MUCH better, alone and in the middle of the night. I know that at 2am the possibility of someone phoning me is remote and thus I feel more comfortable. That in itself has associated problems, that perhaps we’ll chat about later … let’s just see how and where things go with these ‘One A Day’ articles.
I think it’s pretty clear that I didn’t really have a plan or give much thought to what I would write about to start this new ‘One A Day’ project, my brain just farted and given my mental health isn’t great the first thing to come flying out was “so what about this mental break down I’m in the middle of”, hehe. I’m sure though, as each day passes or as I think of things that have those “Ohhh, I should write about that tonight” moments, it will become easier. Maybe I need some kind of list or sketch pad to jot down some ideas so when it is time for me to write my ‘One A Day’ article, I’m not pondering or searching about for ideas!
If I’m real with myself though, lists and notes and checklists aren’t really my bag, they just don’t work with my ADHD brain. At the moment, there isn’t a lot that feels like it does work with my ADHD brain. It’s a problem that I feel consistently but I don’t want todays post to be too “look how crazy my life is, damn this ADHD brain and blah blah”, we all have our issues and our problems and I think I’d rather look at what I can do to make mine easier to cope with or preferably how I can alleviate them all together.
Thinking about it, that is exactly what One A Day is about. It’s about taking the time to do something that’s small and simple, something I know I can complete, something that once done gives me a small sense of achievement, of accomplishment. Even if that is simply an article based around me pouring out a stream of consciousness without plan or reason!
So with a hefty (and heavy!) introduction to my next ‘One A Day’ project along with a few random photos of wargaming related images to keep things mildly on point, let’s mark out what tomorrows article might be about so we can keep things on track.
I think I’ll have a chat about how my compulsive habits, together with an urge to rebuild my Imperial Fists Space Marine army, combined with my capacity to offer MDF terrain in trade value lead to the Titan Halls product range.
Until tomorrow, have a wonderful night.